Category Archives: Uncategorized

Obstacles to writing, 12/18/25

Posted on by Henry

I’ve got a persistent computer problem; my computer will, at random intervals, lose focus on the window in which I’m working. If I’m typing, whatever I type stops being recorded. If I’m playing a game, the game stops responding to my input until I’ve clicked inside the game’s window again (yes, this gets weird with fullscreen). This has weird side effects! I’ve had my computer put the display to sleep while I was watching a video, because it lost focus on the video player and then didn’t receive any input for five minutes.

This would be merely annoying, if it weren’t for that typing problem. Having my typing interrupted because my computer lost focus on my word processor is aggravating. It’s awful.

It’s like playing music only to find that your instrument isn’t in your hands anymore. Instead, your instrument is hanging in midair, right there in front of you, but you have to reach forward and grab it again and settle back in to what you were playing. Your music only comes out in fits and starts. It is nearly impossible to relax into a flow.

If, like me, you sometimes enjoy closing your eyes and envisioning a scene and just typing until you figure out where everything is going… tough luck.

I have struggled with this. I’ve hunted through forums for similar experiences. I’ve searched for the culprits they identified, or the methods they used to find their culprits. I’ve tried setting up programming shells and running code that I found online to log whatever program keeps stealing focus. I’ve done everything… except painstakingly tagging all the documents that I want to save, copying them onto an external drive, and then reformatting my machine and starting over.

Why?

It’s a stupid reason, really: it takes time and effort that I’d rather spend writing. Or which I’d rather spend doing anything else. Yet the longer I put this off, the more time I lose and the more frustrated I become. It’s been a problem for an embarrassingly long time at this point.

I’m going to give myself a gift this holiday season. I’ll finally do the prep work necessary for a factory reset on this machine. Then, I’ll set myself up with some hot beverage(s) and a good book, and I’ll let all the necessary file transfers grind along until I can wipe this thing clean and start fresh.

Or, more likely, I’ll start this and then be busy taking care of the baby or doing house work. At least this will be done.

More cat, 09/25/25

Posted on by Henry

I write this as my baby snores beside me. I don’t know how long his nap will last. Every time today that I’ve tried to do something else while he’s napping, he’s woken up within minutes. Sometimes he wakes within seconds. I’m in a curious state of very cute, very attention-consuming limbo.

Since I didn’t prep a post earlier in the week, I’m left with offering you another picture of Alex. I hope you enjoy it. With some luck, perhaps I’ll have something more substantial for you next week.

We’re all sick here, 9/11/2025

Posted on by Henry

Actually, Alex might be the only one of us who isn’t sick right now. Ley and Gibby have both tested positive for COVID. I tested negative but have all the symptoms, including losing my sense of smell. That loss has hit me harder than I anticipated.

I don’t have anything big for you this week. I hope to have something for you next week. We shall see.

Making Monsters

Posted on by Henry

You’re a monster. If you’re a good monster, you’ll be able to resist your terrible urges for a long time. We like good monsters! You should be one. But eventually you’ll do something unspeakable and hurt those around you, those you love. Because you’re a monster. We all knew it would happen sooner or later. We were just waiting, dreading the day when you’d reveal how awful you truly are.

But there are other monsters out there who tell you that you aren’t a monster. None of you are. Just like them, you aren’t evil. Maybe you could use a better attitude, some self-improvement. Your new friends have lots of advice about that. But those others who tell you that you’re a monster? Lies. Jealousy. Those lies are sick mind games meant to control you, to trap you, told by liars trying to profit while you suffer.

You don’t have to listen to those lies. You just need to be stronger. You need to be harder, and faster, and better. You need to understand that those people who say you’re a monster, their opinions don’t really matter. They don’t really matter. You can do better without them. If you really want people like that in your life, make sure that you’re the one in control—not them.

After all, you’re the man.

Or maybe you have some other privileged identity, and the people telling you that you aren’t a monster are spinning a slightly different story. That’s not the important part. What really matters is that there are people who tell you that you should feel bad, and others who tell you not to worry about it. Which ones feel better to listen to? Which ones give you hope?

In case you couldn’t guess, this is a follow-up to Are Boys The Problem?

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Bed cat, 08/14/25

Posted on by Henry

Dear reader, I am so close to having another, more in-depth post ready for you. But I’m prioritizing spending time with family and taking care of the baby, so here’s another picture of Alex sitting on the bed. She’s a good kitty.

Sleepy kitty, 08/07/25

Posted on by Henry

I’ve made more progress today on a follow up to Are Boys The Problem?, but Alex in that picture above looks how I feel. Fortunately I have family visiting who are helping to take care of baby Gibby. Maybe with their support I’ll be able to post something longer next week.

Alex the cat 07/31/25

Posted on by Henry

This one woke me up early by yelling at me. She only quieted down when I stayed awake enough to hold her. She’s just doing her part, being a good example for the baby.

Maybe I’ll have more brain next week.

Less brain more cat, 7/24/25

Posted on by Henry

Here’s an oldie but a goodie. It turns out I do not have the brain (nor the time) to continue last week’s thoughts today. I will come back to that when I’m next able. Until then, I hope you like pictures of Alex the Cat. She’s a very good cat.

Are Boys The Problem?

Posted on by Henry

A reddit thread has been living rent free in my brain and scattering its gross leftovers all over the couch of my cortex.

Last week, while I was prepping my post about Some Desperate Glory, I read a post on r/newparents from a first time mother wrestling with her cognitive dissonance around having a son. She described herself as a feminist who no longer believed that all men were bad (she cited her husband as a good example), but who still struggled to reconcile her fear, animosity, and resentment towards most men with the idea of raising a young boy. She said (I paraphrase) she was trying to understand how to raise a young boy to be a good man with positive models rather than negative ones. She asked for help and advice.

I was immediately awash with thoughts, with so many ideas that I wanted to share. I wanted to lend my perspective as someone socialized male, as a camp counselor working with teens, and as a new father. Yet as I read on through other’s replies, I despaired.

The post has since been deleted. I’m not surprised that the post was deleted. I’m not happy about it either. I’m caught between wishing I’d replied faster and being glad that I didn’t stick my neck out. You might be able to guess why, but let me explain.

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More Alex, 06/05/2025

Posted on by Henry

Alex is a good kitty. She sleeps so that I don’t have to. That’s how that works, right?

I read The Ruins of Gorlan by John Flanagan, the first book in the first Ranger’s Apprentice series. I have a bunch of thoughts. Those won’t make it up here today, because despite Alex doing a good job of sleeping for me she has not made me feel more awake or alert. Nor has she taken care of the baby.

I’m glad that these books exist. And I think we’re sorely in need of newer work.