Eat your candy. ASAP.

I don’t mean your literal candy.

Heck, I don’t eat much candy. When I do eat candy, I eat it in small amounts. Even ice cream, which I love, I eat sparingly.

But when it comes to RPGs I think everyone should eat their (figurative) candy right away, even if that means sharing your character’s “secrets.”

Candy, in this case, is whatever you really enjoy about your character. It’s the cool backstory, the hidden depths. It is the scenes and interactions that show off your character and feel fun. You should eat your candy and indulge yourself in those scenes and interactions and character moments.

Ideally, you help other players eat their candy at the same time. You can do that, if you have the right group and set of characters. It helps if you talk to your fellow players about how to help each other get more of the stuff you each love. Be generous. Help other people to be generous in turn.

Why am I bothering to say this? This advice seems like it should be a no-brainer. And yet, I know plenty of people who seem dead set on NOT eating their candy, or who forget that they can have their candy and eat it too. This happens across all ranges of gaming experience.

For example, players come up with characters that have cool backgrounds and hidden depths, but then keep those sources of fun secret and require other players to discover the PC’s depths before being able to enjoy all the cool stuff. This happened again last night.

In last night’s case, I simply asked my friend whether he would have more fun if anyone else knew his character’s depths, and then asked why he would deprive himself of that. He quickly said “yeah, that makes sense,” and changed his approach. He shared some of his PC’s backstory with another player (their PCs had some history). I think both players enjoyed the results.

Last night’s quick fix worked well, but this is an issue I’ve seen for nearly as long as I’ve been running games for groups. I think this kind of self-deprivation is grounded in two logical thoughts. First, other characters might not know everything there is to know about each other because people have hidden depths in real life. Second, the process of having other characters and players discover your own character’s hidden depths could be rewarding and fun in itself.

I don’t disagree with either of those. People do have hidden depths, and that process of getting to know other people’s characters (and becoming known in turn) can be very rewarding. Those are very reasonable ideas and conclusions.

But when your character’s hidden depths are a source of fun, those reasonable ideas get in the way. Life is short, RPGs are games, and you deserve to have fun and enjoy your games. You can collaborate to maximize your own (and your fellow players’) fun.

This is why—unless you have already discovered that the fun part for you really is having people not know your secrets, or having people slowly get to know your character— I strongly suggest that you share your secrets and your hidden depths with at least one or two other players. Sharing secrets with one or two other players whose PCs are connected to yours gives you more context to play with, and more to do together in game. Then, your fellow players can help reveal your character’s secrets, or create fun scenes that play off them. Together, you can enjoy more candy.

Giving out the secret also avoids the biggest pitfall of the “I want others to discover it” approach to revealing your character’s depths: players miss obvious things all the time. If you’ve ever run mystery or investigation games, you’ll know what I mean. Even when players know that there is a mystery at hand, they will routinely fixate on clues that you didn’t mean to give and hare off in strange directions. If players don’t know that there is even a mystery in the first place, you often need to lay out an overwhelming set of hints to clue them in.

Thus, if you will enjoy having people interact with your cool backstory at all, give away some of your ”secrets” and get someone else to help you play with them. This may seem counterintuitive, given how secrets usually work, but you’ll have more fun more quickly.

Finally, nearly every character I’ve ever played developed significantly more depth over the course of my time with them. If you really want other players to get to know your character, you can share a good deal of what you know at the start without any fears. You’ll come up with more good details as you play. You and your fellow players can discover your character’s new depths together.

You don’t need to hoard your candy. You can share your secrets and eat it all. If you collaborate with your fellow players, there will be more candy later.