Beautiful Creatures is more than skin deep

Just to make things clear, this is about the 2013 movie, not the book by Kami Garcia and Margaret Stohl.  I honestly haven’t even looked sideways at the book, though I probably should.  I originally watched the movie because I was bored on a long flight and I hoped it would inspire me in running a Monsterhearts game.  I was totally right.

On the face of it, Beautiful Creatures is a fairly average movie that nestles comfortably in the niche most recently made by Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight series.  I haven’t read those books either, but yes, this is all about teenage monsters and teenagers who have magical powers.  See how I just implied that most teens are monsters?

I have no love for the Twilight books, and the only times I’ve watched the movies were during “watch to regret, drink to forget” parties, mourning the particularly shitty moments in my friends’ lives.  Beautiful Creatures, on the other hand, is genuinely fun and rewarding to watch.

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Pacific Rim

GENTLEMAN-GUSTAF-FUCK-YEAHIf I made a top 5 list of things I think are cool, it would look something like this:

  1. Dinosaurs
  2. Dinosaurs
  3. Robots
  4. Dinosaurs
  5. Dinosaurs

But I don’t really think the above captures how much I like dinosaurs. My parents swear that my first real word was ‘dinosaur’, I still know the names of far-too-many dinosaur species, I can give you a compelling argument as to why the T-Rex was likely a scavenger, not a hunter, I have practiced several dinosaur noises, although I remain jealous that my phone makes this noise when texted, as I doubt I could ever be trained to replicate it, and I once nicknamed a lady I dated ‘raptor girl’ to my friends because she did a raptor impression on the internet and gave me a dinosaur head (cut out of a magazine) attached to a popsicle stick on our first date — boy was that a good move! — and we remain close friends to this day. Basically, I want to be a dinosaur when I grow up. When Jurassic Park was re-released recently… let’s just say that the number of times I saw it is shameful, or would be if I were capable of feeling shame about my love for dinosaurs. So you can imagine when I saw this trailer for Pacific Rim, I all but soiled myself. IT’S DINOSAURS FIGHTING ROBOTS! But having seen it, I must admit to a mixed reaction.

WARNING: with most media, I feel obligated to introduce a complicated system of spoiler tags. But there is no plot of which to speak in this movie. So if you fear the spoilers, don’t read on, but know that I’m judging you.

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RED brings comedy to a knife-fight, wins

I suppose it would be more accurate that they bring guns to a knife-fight and then laugh about it.  RED is none other than Retired, Extremely Dangerous, a movie about aging covert operatives who appear to be targeted for forceful extra-retirement by some very well connected people.  Loosely inspired by Warren Ellis’ graphic novels of the same name, this movie takes those books’ themes and runs with them, delivering in a huge way.  A few names you’ll recognize own the movie’s screen with their presence: Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren, John Malkovich, Brian Cox, Karl Urban, and Mary-Louise Parker.  They’re maybe kind of a big deal, and they totally make the movie.

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Movie Review: World War Z

Zeeblee

I recently saw World War Z at a local Carmike theater, and while it was fun I ended up feeling like I had just watched a generic zombie film, and not a World War Z film.  Where the book is one of the greatest pieces of zombie media ever made, the film instead missed the mark on what makes the whole zombie genre interesting.  In a way this will be a double review as I will discuss what features made the book special, and how the loss of those features made the film feel generic.

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Schindler’s List, and stories that inspire us

It is rare for a movie to reduce me to tears.  Not just tears, but quiet sobbing too.  Schindler’s List does it.

Schindler’s List tells a powerful, horrifying, and moving story, one which ought to be heard by everyone.  It is more than a story of persecution and salvation, it’s a story of inspiration and hope.

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The Rebirth of Sci-Fi and Fantasy Movies and Television

I’m not really a movie guy; I’m much more comfortable sitting at home with a book in one hand and a glass of bourbon in the other while orchestral versions of Final Fantasy (and other video/computer game) music floats in the air. In part, this is because of my social inclinations:

  • I’m highly introverted and need alone time; why would I pay to be surrounded by the noises and smells of other people?
  • I like that I can read a book at my own pace instead of waiting around; the average movie pacing is too slow for me.
  • If I watch a movie in theaters, I can’t re-watch it without paying again.
  • Books are within the domain of my imagination.

But largely, this is actually more generational than anything. When I was growing up, geek movies and tv shows were terrible. Sure, you had Star Wars, but what else was there? You could either go for the inanely slow and confusing (2001: A Space Odyssey), the campy and cheesy (Galaxy Quest, which I love), or the underbudgeted (original series BSG). This is most clearly seen in superhero movies. They were either overly melodramatic and operatic (every Superman movie ever) or ridiculously silly (Jack Nicholson as The Joker; Arnold Schwarznegger as Mr. Freeze; Jim Carrey as The Riddler). Now, I don’t mean to impugn Batman or Batman Forever. Those movies were good in their own right, with Jack Nicholson portraying a much more over-the-top Joker, and Jim Carrey being on of my — guiltily — favorite movie comedians. But there was a certain sense in which science-fiction and super hero movies and fantasy movies were all made very tongue-in-cheek, with a sense of ‘we don’t really take this seriously; isn’t it so silly?’

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Take Five: Episodic vs Serial works

In modern continuous works (largely tv shows at this point in time, but also comic books and other media) there are few ‘one-shots’ anymore. Obviously, books are the largest exceptions, but even many movies nowadays feel like they’re all either remakes, reboots, prequels, or sequels. Everything is linked to something else because why spend all of the money to make one of something when (if people like it) they’ll pay to come see another with less advertisement? And I’m sure that’s how a lot of consumers have come to see it. But from the perspective of a writer, it’s fantastic. Why? Because serial works have something that episodic works tend not to have. What is the difference between the two? I’m going to use TV shows as my ‘medium’, but you can apply this to any form of media.

A serial work is one where each episode builds off of previous episodes, and sets up future episodes. Episodic works, on the other hand tend to just rehash the same setting, but with a new plot. Rather than try and strictly define a midpoint, I’ll just say that it’s a vague continuum; everything is a little bit episodic and a little bit serial, but some works are way more episodic (Whose Line is it Anyway?) and others are way more serial (Lost). If you tune into a random episode of Whose Line is it Anyway? odds are you’ll understand it just fine. You might miss a few of the jokes that are more recurring jokes, but they’ll probably still be funny. On the other hand, the first time I tuned into Lost, I was — pardon the pun — lost. They were on an island, and an unknown monster — I was hoping they’d crashed on a prehistoric island and it was a dinosaur –was attacking them, and I had no idea why they were hiding in trees from a boar, and why the boar couldn’t be seen and then the next episode I tuned into I think there was a ghost or something and they were living in a bunker and pressing this button and all I could think was WHAT HAPPENED TO THE MONSTER? WAS IT A DINOSAUR? IS THAT WHY THERE’S A BUNKER? AND WHY ARE THEY PUSHING THAT BUTTON?

So I understand why TV shows are at least somewhat episodic. Who has the same chunk of time open EVERY day? Who will NEVER miss an episode? What about that random guy who sits down and turns the show on, is he going to keep watching if he can’t figure it out? Books on the hand, are inherently serial. You don’t sit down, pick up a book, flip to a random page, and start reading. So if somebody criticized a book for not making sense when you started halfway through, we’d laugh at them. But we do sort of expect that to be possible with TV (less so in the age of TiVo, which I think explains the success of shows like Game of Thrones). And I think we understand that book series’ and comic book series’ are part of one ‘book’, so to speak. Nobody buys just book 2 of a series.

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Classification Necessary: Problems with Horror

Zeeblee

A week ago I was going to write an article to bounce off of Mattias’ horror game article about SCP Containment Breach.  A week ago I was going to use Hostel by Eli Roth as a sort of whipping boy/strawman example of what makes a bad horror movie.  But in my haze of sickness, working nights, and sleeping for multiple days straight I realized that my perspective on what “horror” is was flawed.  I searched for definitions to support my claim that Hostel was not a horror movie because it offered no scares and no suspense, but I was met with definitions that incorporated discomfort and sickened responses.  Being horrified is not just being scared, but also being disgusted.  In this way Hostel can still be called a horror film (but still not a good one).  But this broadness of definition offers up a problem, one that I ran into a lot when I used to work in a video rental store (yes, those still exist), and the problem is:  When someone asks you to recommend a horror movie, how do you respond?

As most people would do I always end up recommending my favorites, but I’ve noticed that my favorites never really include movies from the genre of horror that Hostel was aiming for.  I’m a big fan of suspenseful films like The Shining where the focus of the film is to make the characters feel uncomfortable as opposed to films like The Girl Next Door (Jack Ketchum’s version) where the goal is to make the audience feel uncomfortable.  Now, you may argue that the goal of The Shining was to make the audience feel uncomfortable, and you would be correct, but it does so by making the characters feel paranoid and unsafe, and the audience then empathizes with them also feels paranoid for the characters.  The Girl Next Door on the other hand makes the audience uncomfortable via the brutal treatment of the characters.  The audience isn’t paranoid about whether or not they will be safe, but is instead disgusted by just how unsafe they are, and rather than paranoia of the future the audience is more hopeful that the present situation will end.

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Movie Review: Mad Max trilogy

Zeeblee

Growing up I am relatively sure that I was introduced to the Mad Max movies in reverse order.  Like many people the first one I saw starred Tina Turner and featured the line “Who run Barter Town!”  This also happens to be the one which most people have seen if they have seen any of the three films (at least that’s what I have observed in my own experiences).  Next I saw The Road Warrior and learned to “just walk away from the gasoline.”  Of the series this is the one that people either haven’t seen, or didn’t realize it was a Mad Max film until later.  Finally I saw it.  I saw the original.  I heard the gospel of the Night Rider, and I saw Mad Max.  Now that I’ve built up some drama I’m going to go ahead and ease the tension with a simple categorized review.

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