Untitled, 10/9/25

I feel sick. I know what my country is facing. I know what is happening in my home, my homeland, my America. I see this administration wielding the truncheon of “law and order” eagerly, craving any response that will let the insecure and desperate men at the top (and all the way down) feel like big fucking heroes as they club down their fellow Americans for daring to disagree. I see them chasing those who aren’t white, who aren’t Christian, claiming that they’re chasing those who aren’t “American” while they draw an ever smaller circle around what it means to be American. 

My family comes from all over. Most of them are American citizens. I know that won’t matter when the administration’s circle slips a little tighter again, like a noose around our country’s neck. They’re going to go after my family, sooner rather than later.

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Rewatching Ted Lasso S1

I feel more complicated about the character of Ted Lasso as I rewatch this show. For one, as Ley says, his vibe is very much Manic Pixie Dream Coach. More importantly, I feel as though early on the show distracts from Ted’s flaws because he means well and is the protagonist… and I feel grumpy about that.

I see more of Ted’s shadow (to borrow from Jung) coming to the fore as I rewatch the show. The first time through, I was just keeping up with the writing and admiring the show’s construction and delivery. This time, I have the chance to pay more attention to what’s going on, and to notice the elements that are clearly laid out and planned for later exploration.

It’s a well-written show. Ted is a well-written character. He’s flawed, though we don’t explore that as much in the beginning of the show. He’s admirable and likable in his attempts to catalyze the personal growth of the members of his team (along with everyone around the team), and to drive their transformation into a mutually supportive whole.

In pursuit of that goal he also transgresses or ignores people’s stated boundaries while ‘trying to make things better.’ His transgressions felt off the first time around. They feel more insufferable on a rewatch.

The first example that springs to mind for me is how Ted explicitly ignores Rebecca Welton’s stated preferences when he promises to show up again the next morning despite her saying that he shouldn’t. It’s a small thing. But this small thing is done with a powerful “aw shucks I’m just trying to do right by everyone” attitude, a real “I’m a nice and earnest guy” vibe… and that attitude plus the show’s narrative focus on Ted as our protagonist blurs Ted’s transgressions into the background. 

Maybe Ted is oblivious to the ways he’s transgressing. I think I could empathize with that Ted more, even though it would still feel painful to see. But I don’t think he’s oblivious, at least not with Rebecca—he responds (in)directly to Rebecca’s request by saying that he won’t honor it. And the show validates his actions.

I know how well things will go for Ted. I know how his efforts will ultimately pay off for himself and those around him. The show might not hide that Ted is doing something disrespectful, but it certainly slides it to you in a shit sandwich with such a smooth delivery that you could blink and miss it. We’re also given a brief glimpse of Ted’s relationship with his wife that strongly implies that this sort of behavior is not exactly surprising from Ted—and yet that moment is used mostly to build emotional depth and vulnerability for Ted, rather than to point out that he might have a pattern of self-sabotage via transgressing boundaries. That makes his other boundary transgressions all the more painful to me.

Maybe I’m more sensitive to this because I know more now about Jason Sudekis’s personal life around the time of making Ted Lasso. There are some painful parallels, complete with separation and custody conflicts as he and Olivia Wilde parted. In some ways, Ted is Sudekis’s chance to tell his version of his story, to portray the best version of his story and make himself a victimized tragic hero. No doubt these parallels help Jason Sudekis play Ted Lasso (his own life mirrors his art, he can bring all those pieces to his portrayal of the character!). But I think he’s too close to the experience and too caught up in it—Sudekis’s portrayal of Ted (specifically in the third season) feels more like a polemic or like self-soothing rather than an empathetic nuanced exploration. Worse, these similarities makes the show’s blurring of Ted’s flaws feel bad in a self-indulgent way.

Now, none of this makes the show bad. I still love Ted Lasso. I still think it’s extremely well-written and well-executed. My love for it from four years ago remains. If anything, I’m more impressed by the ways in which the story’s foundations were laid so long in advance. And I’m also finding the ways that it lands differently as I rewatch it.

More cat, 09/25/25

I write this as my baby snores beside me. I don’t know how long his nap will last. Every time today that I’ve tried to do something else while he’s napping, he’s woken up within minutes. Sometimes he wakes within seconds. I’m in a curious state of very cute, very attention-consuming limbo.

Since I didn’t prep a post earlier in the week, I’m left with offering you another picture of Alex. I hope you enjoy it. With some luck, perhaps I’ll have something more substantial for you next week.

Videos from Schnee, 9/18/2025

I’m still recovering but I have videos for you from Schnee, a YouTuber whose analysis of stories I really appreciate. The first is an intriguing exploration of feminine rejections and explorations of femininity (GREMLIN MODE), and the second of these videos (How to Write MASCULINE SHAME…) feels deeply connected to my posts on masculinity and gender (Are Boys The Problem? and Making Monsters).

I hope you enjoy engaging with these videos as much as I did.

We’re all sick here, 9/11/2025

Actually, Alex might be the only one of us who isn’t sick right now. Ley and Gibby have both tested positive for COVID. I tested negative but have all the symptoms, including losing my sense of smell. That loss has hit me harder than I anticipated.

I don’t have anything big for you this week. I hope to have something for you next week. We shall see.

Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End (Netflix 2025)

I’ve finished Netflix’s season 1 (28 episodes) of Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End. I finished it a while ago, actually, but for baby-related reasons I haven’t had the brains to finish this post. Better late than never, right?

Melancholy, meditative, meandering… Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End has won a spot in my heart. It is a fantasy adventure that cares more about the everyday personhood of its heroes than about epic plots or dramatic achievements. It made me cry, and laugh, and I love how it manages to be bittersweet and yet feel like one of the most forward-looking and optimistic shows I’ve watched in a while. 

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Making Monsters

You’re a monster. If you’re a good monster, you’ll be able to resist your terrible urges for a long time. We like good monsters! You should be one. But eventually you’ll do something unspeakable and hurt those around you, those you love. Because you’re a monster. We all knew it would happen sooner or later. We were just waiting, dreading the day when you’d reveal how awful you truly are.

But there are other monsters out there who tell you that you aren’t a monster. None of you are. Just like them, you aren’t evil. Maybe you could use a better attitude, some self-improvement. Your new friends have lots of advice about that. But those others who tell you that you’re a monster? Lies. Jealousy. Those lies are sick mind games meant to control you, to trap you, told by liars trying to profit while you suffer.

You don’t have to listen to those lies. You just need to be stronger. You need to be harder, and faster, and better. You need to understand that those people who say you’re a monster, their opinions don’t really matter. They don’t really matter. You can do better without them. If you really want people like that in your life, make sure that you’re the one in control—not them.

After all, you’re the man.

Or maybe you have some other privileged identity, and the people telling you that you aren’t a monster are spinning a slightly different story. That’s not the important part. What really matters is that there are people who tell you that you should feel bad, and others who tell you not to worry about it. Which ones feel better to listen to? Which ones give you hope?

In case you couldn’t guess, this is a follow-up to Are Boys The Problem?

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Strange New Worlds season 3

I recall seeing some negative reviews of Strange New Worlds’ third season, reviews complaining about tonal whiplash. I think those reviewers didn’t understand the premise of episodic television.

I admit, the first two episodes of season three were VERY different from each other in tone. The first episode was the conclusion to a two-part episode cliffhanger that has had me on tenterhooks for over a year. The second episode was more like SNW getting back into the swing of things.

I was even glad that I watched the episodes a week apart instead of back to back (as they were released). But I’m not going to insist that a show I love for being episodic only release tonally similar episodes when they air two on the same day. Instead, I am glad to be gifted with more Star Trek to enjoy. I could use more hopeful sci-fi these days.

Bed cat, 08/14/25

Dear reader, I am so close to having another, more in-depth post ready for you. But I’m prioritizing spending time with family and taking care of the baby, so here’s another picture of Alex sitting on the bed. She’s a good kitty.

Sleepy kitty, 08/07/25

I’ve made more progress today on a follow up to Are Boys The Problem?, but Alex in that picture above looks how I feel. Fortunately I have family visiting who are helping to take care of baby Gibby. Maybe with their support I’ll be able to post something longer next week.